How to simplify life
How to simplify life? This question has been in my mind since turning 35.
I felt so tired of clutter, shopping, and money wasting. My house was a mess with piled-up skincare, makeup, and clothes. I wouldn’t dare calculate how much money was wasted, and how many beautiful experiences I could have had if I had saved that money and used it for something better.
Instead, I wasted that money on things that made me dissatisfied and tired.
What got me thinking
Last week, something happened that got me thinking.
I attended my daughter’s karate belt test.
I finally got to see my daughter do karate in front of all the other kids and parents. Sure, she was a little unsure of herself at times, but in the end, everything came together great.
Every time I see her do karate, a wave of pride surrounds me. It’s hard to put into words how it feels to watch your child grow and change.
On our way home, we decided to treat ourselves to some ice cream to celebrate the day and the Orange Belt victory. As we enjoyed our sweet treat, she got really tired and started complaining and arguing.
Once we got home, it was back to reality. I prepared dinner and tidied up the house. Just a typical evening.
But you see, moments like these can be viewed from two different angles:
I could complain
I could easily focus on how exhausted I felt, how I had to stand in a crowded room, or even how uncomfortable it was to engage in small talk with other parents and then take the tired kid home.
Or I could appreciate
I could choose to savor the beauty of the day and the rich memories we created together. It may have been a simple day, but it was filled with genuine meaning. There’s so much beauty to be found in life’s little moments, like watching your child perform or having sincere conversations with others.
I could wish for more
I could dream about how the day could have gone differently, perhaps enjoying dinner out, having a seat at the performance, or wearing something a bit nicer.
But dwelling on what could have been doesn’t add any value to my life. It doesn’t elevate my happiness.
Such thinking often leads to dissatisfaction and frustration.
Our world encourages discontent at every turn. But when we live life constantly desiring more and better, we miss the beauty of the ordinary right in front of us.
How to simplify life
It is really difficult today in this digital world to strip down experiences to the most basic, simple, and valuable ones.
If you are trying to simplify your life, just like me, then focus on experiences and people rather than things. Pay attention to your thoughts and avoid comparing yourself and your life with others (yes, that means less screen time and checking others on social media).
Here is how to simplify life in 3 steps:
Reevaluate Your Values
Our values are constantly reflected in the way we choose to live. We all have a few things that we think and say we value, but we never back them up with our actions. Actions do not lie.
So it is very easy to say and list all the good values you believe in, but are you actually behaving that way.
I value family and friendships, but do I actually put in the time and effort to see my friends or spend time with my kids?
I value hard work, but here I am, playing games on my couch.
I value learning and self-growth, but I am binge-watching the latest Netflix show instead of reading and learning.
So you need to be honest with yourself, sit down, and write down what you expect from life, what you want to be remembered by, and what you want to represent.
Sometimes you need to reject some values you found important when you were younger. Such as having money, expensive clothes, and a high-profile career. Is that really something that you still value, or over the years, you shifted your focus to something else?
Sitting around thinking about better values to have is nice. But nothing will change until you go out and embody that new value. Values are won and lost through life experience.
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Practice Gratitude
I find that if I write 3 things I am grateful for every morning in my journal, I remind myself at the start of every day of all the good things I have in my life. Journaling immediately shifts my mind to positive and valuable aspects of my everyday life.
It might be as simple as:
- Seeing the sunrise.
- Sitting in a warm home with my kids, listening to them play and argue.
- Enjoying a slice of apple pie brought over by my mum.
These are the blessings we often ignore and do not realize we have.
Check out my post about How to start a gratitude journal.
Learn To Be Present
Imagine this: you’re sitting on your couch, watching a show while eating dinner, scrolling through Instagram, and half-heartedly listening to your partner or kids talk about their day.
Later, when you’re lying in bed, you realize you didn’t quite understand the show, enjoy your dinner, or listen to your partner or kids.
We’re constantly surrounded by distractions, making it difficult to focus on just one thing at a time. But living in the moment, although difficult, can benefit our relationships, productivity, and overall wellness.
Living in the moment is about paying attention to the here and now. Instead of letting your mind wander, you’re focused on your current actions, sensations, and surroundings.
If you want to understand more how to be present and focus on the now, check out my post The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
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Appreciate The Ordinary
I encourage you to take a moment and look at what you already have. Some of the things we take for granted may be the most valuable parts of our lives. Until they’re gone, we might not realize their worth.
Stop and appreciate the ordinary: a short walk to work, a cup of coffee with a friend, your mum calling to check on you. These simple moments often bring the most happiness.
We don’t need to do anything extraordinary to find joy. It’s not about traveling the world or achieving grand milestones. It’s about relearning to enjoy the simplest things in life. These moments for me are baking bread, reading a book in the evening, putting on skin care, and watching my kids play.
Final thoughts
I used to be the one always wanting more—more things, more perfection, more reasons to feel complete. I constantly saw faults in what I had, and believed the next perfect item could fix everything.
I thought the right coat could make my days flawless, or the ideal home decor could make me feel content. But the truth is that endless craving for more was a way to avoid facing the deeper dissatisfaction in my life. It was easier to focus on things than to confront the real issues—the relationships that needed change or the work I needed to do on myself.
Now, I understand. When I see someone obsessing over material possessions, clothes, makeup, or even travel, I can see it for what it often is: a way to fill an emotional void. It’s not really about the objects—it’s about an unfulfilled need, an internal struggle, or a search for something deeper that’s missing.
This realization has helped me shift my perspective and simplify my life. And helped me realize that simple, mundane things we all do every day are actually what life is all about.
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