The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday: My Review and Key Lessons

The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.
Ryan Holiday

In 1984, during a school trip to a nature reserve, I broke my arm. It was a cold day. I ran inside to grab my jacket, fell, and hit my arm on the metal railing of the bed. The pain was severe. It brought tears to my eyes.

I spent the rest of the day holding my arm and crying with pain. It never occurred to me to go and tell my teacher.

But I was in 3rd grade, and I had a good friend. She went to our teacher and told him I had fallen and my arm was hurting badly.

He sent me to the doctor, and that night I was driven back to my town, to the hospital. After some painful repositioning, I got my first cast.

Everyone was angry. Why did I sit in so much pain for so long without telling anyone?

I couldn’t explain it then. I can’t explain it even today.

It was one of the scariest things that happened to me as a kid. But at the same time, it made me stronger.

The first lesson was how important it is to have true friends. The second was that I need the courage to ask for help when I need it.

I thought about that day a lot while reading The Obstacle is the Way.

The main idea of The Obstacle Is the Way

The Obstacle is the Way is built on one idea from Marcus Aurelius and Stoic philosophy: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

We should look at obstacles as opportunities for growth.

Instead of feeling sad and stuck about the problems we face, we should look at them and ask what we can learn and move on.

And I really like this idea. I used to blame my circumstances for getting stuck. I blamed my parents and my country, and I’m sure many people can relate. But I realized that only I am responsible for my life, and only I can change it.

What I like about Ryan Holiday’s writing

I like his books because his writing is direct and simple. Each book centers on one idea, which he illustrates with examples from the lives of famous people.

But there is one thing I’d change about his books. By the middle of the book, I’ve often had enough examples and would like to hear more about his own experiences.

This is the second book by Ryan Holiday I’ve read. After Ego is the Enemy, I picked up The Obstacle Is the Way, and I have a third one waiting for me: Stillness Is the Key.

What stayed with me

Stay calm and composed

When we face an obstacle, we should stay calm and composed.

I’ve faced serious situations in my own life, and strangely enough, I never panicked. I always felt a sense of calm, as if everything would be all right as long as I stayed calm. Usually it was. Sometimes it wasn’t.

Either way, staying calm always helped, so this chapter really resonated with me.

Change your perspective

I often color my obstacles with my emotions. I make them bigger than they are. I make them way scarier.

But if I take a moment to reflect, every obstacle can be resolved.

Staying objective is the hardest part. Keeping my feelings out of it is extremely hard, especially when it’s about my kids or people I really care about.

Change the way you think about failure

I’ve failed many times in my life: exams, friendships, relationships, money, business opportunities.

But if you manage to accept failure as part of the process, and if you understand that only by failing can you actually succeed, then you will be able to move on and progress.

When I failed exams, I never gave up. I once kept retaking the same exam for a whole year. I simply couldn’t pass it.

But in the end, I did. I did not give up.

Focus on what you can control

When faced with a problem, we need to focus on what we can control.

Using my exam as an example, it was easy to blame the professor and say I would never pass unless he left.

But the truth is, I could only focus on myself. I could try harder, study harder, and eventually the results would come.

I learned that if you stay strong and focus on yourself, you can overcome any obstacle. But if you focus on others and blame others, then it’s much harder to succeed.

FAQ

What is The Obstacle Is the Way about?

It’s about using the problems in your life as a way forward, not a reason to stop. Ryan Holiday builds the book on one idea from Marcus Aurelius and the Stoics: what stands in the way becomes the way. The book is split into three parts: Perception, Action and Will.

Is The Obstacle Is the Way worth reading?

Yes, especially if you tend to blame your circumstances. It’s direct and easy to read. If you’ve read Ego is the Enemy, expect the same style: one idea and lots of examples from the lives of famous people.